The “easy” way or the “right” way*?
*the right way in this blog post refers to the way it was meant to be, the way that fits your unique path, and supports your values and views.
In 2024, everyone is out there for quick fixes. We’re looking for “quick meal ideas”, “quick ways to get rich”, “quick workouts”, and “quick ways to lose weight”, in addition to so many other areas of life in which we would love to skip the long and difficult process, and cut straight to the chase. And it’s no wonder! Our lives are often stressful and hectic, and there are only so many hours in a day — not to mention the finiteness of life as a journey.
I was listening to a podcast with the author Robert Greene as a guest. Together with the host he discussed finding one’s purpose. I quickly realized that finding your purpose and reaching goals have many things in common, one of which is that the journey to the destination can be greatly overwhelming and complex. Still, most of the time the journey itself is one of the reasons we’ll be able to appreciate the result significantly more: to give it the gratitude it deserves, and to fall in love with it, no matter whether the result is what we embarked on the journey for.
He stated something that threaded the whole concept of quick fixes together and it went something like this: “If you take the helicopter to the top of Mount Everest, you won’t arrive at the same destination as you would’ve if you had put in the effort to train, plan, and work to climb up there”. He gave an example of using AI in content creation and learning processes, and while useful, if used falsely, it can intervene in our natural ability for creative thinking, and learning new skills and information.
If we look at ordinary life through this lens, what are the things we might discover? Read on and think for yourself, or jump straight to the conclusion (aka, take the quick fix) 👇🏼
The role of luck and conditions in achieving goals
Generally speaking and without having to do profound research on this, simply based on what I see on social media there are four key areas of life in which most people subtly hope to be able to fast-track themselves from the ‘in-progress’ to ‘completed’. These areas are health and condition, finances, career development, and relationships/family plans.
Stating the “forbidden”: in all of these areas people begin to work their way up from different levels and conditions. One of us is the child of an Olympic athlete and potentially experiences a very encouraging upbringing, genetic probability, and vantage to perform better physically than someone who’s obese from childhood and has a family background of diabetes. Someone inherited their millionaire parents while another individual is a child of divorce and has lived their whole life in a family where it’s a daily battle to make ends meet. Even so, no result is ever given — but earned by the actions.
While it’s true that our backgrounds can either hold us back or give us a boost in achieving what we want, all of us still have to make an effort to progress, and simply the “effort” is what may look different.
I feel like people often confuse the “easy way” with “doing nothing”, which is probably never the case. Yes, things can indeed work out better or quicker for someone than for another one and this can easily seem like pure good luck — which, don’t get me wrong, plays a part 100%. But it’s not the only factor. Luck solely creates a compound effect on the actions the individual has taken, whether it’s creating a new habit, building a network, connecting with the right people, pursuing a new passion or education, moving cities/countries, starting a new hobby, etc.
The “luck” can also be a result of a specific mindset. I come across the idea of manifestation and affirmations every day on social media and see how greatly the positive mindset and energy one radiates can truly contribute to the success of an individual. I’m guilty of not doing enough of it myself and I honestly believe it’s time to improve (and so I have since writing this blog post, far before publishing it).
Would it matter to “get there faster”?
Respectfully, the answer is yes, it would. Can you imagine having accomplished all of your life goals and hopes tomorrow, overnight? Can you imagine opening your eyes the next morning and finding yourself with your dream body and health, a loving partner and family, as much money in your bank account as you could ever need, and a career worthy of its own Pinterest board? If you’re truly imagining and visualizing this, I believe you’re feeling relieved, no? Amazed, joyful, content? But imagine waking up to the same morning every single day for the rest of your life. How would it feel when someone complimented and admired what you have, and you could only shrug your shoulders saying “It was given” (because in this case, it’s not about being modest but the actual truth)?
I’m not belittling people who have accomplished a lot and achieved their biggest goals early in life, but what I wanted to point out is that the fast track to everything we want would take away a lot of the fun, exciting, story-worthy content from our lives. Who knows if you would even be the same person that you could be if you had worked hard to achieve all of those goals instead of having them delivered to your front door? Maybe, you wouldn’t know how to feel proud, grateful, truly satisfied, yet still hungry for more. And no wonder, technically, you wouldn’t have a reason to.
But could we make the “right way” feel easier even still?
I watched a documentary about longevity and the secrets of some of the oldest living people on earth. A woman of 101 years said that she never gets mad. She smiles, laughs, and spends time talking to her loved ones. And I think that’s a piece of good advice, we have too many frowned faces in this world and we’ve lost the craft of easygoingness and lightness.
Lesson 1 for making the “right way” the “easy way”: try your best to stay light-hearted (which is a different thing than never being serious) even in the storms and don’t hold grudges or get mad at yourself, others, or the world. Whenever you can, smile, laugh, and enjoy the people you love and tell them you love them.
In the same documentary, an old man said that ikigai is the most important thing you can have, and losing it will mean losing yourself, making life a battle. To those of you who don’t know what ikigai is, here’s what Google put together for me to share:
Ikigai is a Japanese concept that unites the joy of life with a sense of purpose. The term is a combination of the Japanese words 'iki' (to live) and 'gai' (reason), which together signify "a reason to live." Ikigai can be found at the center of four aspects: passion (what you love), mission (what the world needs), profession (what you are good at), and vocation (what you can be paid for).
Lesson 2: don’t lose your sense of purpose as it’s only meant to offer you guidance. If you lose it, do everything to get it back. If you’ve never known it, do EVERYTHING. Try different things, get out of your comfort zone and out of your normal routine of things you always do. You can’t find something you’ve never known by doing things and going to places where you’ve never found it before. If you need ways to understand your purpose, connect with someone who might offer you an external point of view.
I was listening to YET another podcast (shocking) about mental health and the structure of the self and mind. In the episode, the psychiatrist Dr. Paul Conti mentioned that it has been proven that one of the best ways for a person to ease their mind and improve mental health is by being grateful. And it’s not enough to think about being grateful, you need to truly (madly) DEEPLY feel it, allowing the thought to travel from the conscious mind to the unconscious mind where it can cook on the back burner and do its magic — magic that can only happen when you’re not consciously thinking about it.
Since then, I’ve encountered similar advice through other channels and by other professionals in different fields, and can personally confirm this to be a life changer in the tides of life.
Lesson 3: no matter what, always remember the things you already have that are good, the amazing opportunities you’ve had, and the projects that are going well. Remain grateful and appreciative of them. How can you do this? My personal favorite is to journal it down or speak about it out loud whether it is by yourself, to a friend, or maybe even a therapist.
Last but not least, my personal advice, or perhaps more like a reminder. Since we need actions to get where we want to, we need to know exactly which strings to pull; to know the exact steps to take. Sometimes the best way to do this is by imagining backward: take a paper and start by jotting down your end goal, and start visualizing what’s the exact final step you took before reaching that goal. Visualize it as detailed as possible, and imagine the absolute tiniest step you took or an event that took place right before reaching the goal. Now, visualize the tiny step before that. And before that… and again. You’ll eventually end up with a roadmap to wherever it is you want to go!
Lesson 4 for the process: curate an action plan and stick to it as much as possible but also remain kind toward yourself to allow/not be too harsh on occasional slips here and there. No progress is linear.
Conclusion
Ask anyone successful (the “what is success” is a whole other topic tbh) and they’ll tell you the success didn’t come in a flash. It wasn’t luck and it didn’t happen overnight. It’s often a series of actions, trial, and error, and results from a strong mind, a good mindset, and more important than anything: time. How much ever it requires, because that differs. The point is, you don’t want to live the next 30, 50, 70 years without anything to strive for.
I would love to hear your thoughts and/or experiences on this below in the comments or on Instagram 🧡
with love, Stiina