Embracing authenticity: Being real online.
There’s a little backstory to this post but first I want you to know that related to the theme, it is actually written on a whim. It was a thought that passed by my mind like a cloud that has been passing by once in a while for the past few years already. But I am now FINALLY putting it down as black on white. Not as a part of any certain strategy, not planned accordingly, and definitely not refined to perfection. Just being authentic.
So, about the backstory: I wish I would’ve spent my early twenties in the ’80s. I understand it’s not as glamorous as the entertainment industry has made it seem and I would fully accept that. Not everything has to be perfect. I understand that it might significantly lower the standards of living and quality of life, as well as I would have to go by without some handy inventions making my everyday life easier. But I would love the simplicity of life.
Even though I have always been a very controversial person; fighting against the mainstream, molding my own path, and living rather fearlessly trying not to care what other people think of it, I would still enjoy the limited “options” and paths available back then.
I would enjoy the traditional gender roles (I would probably also end up breaking them), and I guess life back then seemed a hell of a lot more straightforward because you would enter a path early in life, not stepping too far astray on the way. Maybe life wouldn’t be as exciting, and maybe I would have different things to stress about - but I do still think everything would be simpler.
Modern stress and pressure
We have many things in common as a society now and back then. We have always had this thing in common. That is our ability to create stress and pressure on ourselves. Sometimes it stems from our environment: location, people, and overall opportunities. And sometimes, it begins and ends in our minds.
“Our minds are like gardens: they grow where we water them.”
Today, one thing that brings a lot of stress and pressure to many, is social media. An invention I have a love-hate relationship with. It has been such an important creative outlet for me, a hobby one might even say. I use it to connect with people; learn, and get inspiration.
But social media is essentially what you make of it: it may be the angel or the devil on your shoulder, depending on what you consume, how much, and what you publish yourself - AND WHY.
There is one thing about social media that isn’t necessarily controlled by every individual because the majority of the content is what matters here. That thing is the scale/rate/amount (you name it) of authenticity. The one thing that you would think comes naturally and would be the easiest to achieve in the jungle of content strategies and all the hocus pocus.
I personally fall for a person’s character, instead of their content. Most of the influencers and creators I follow, I follow for their personality or the way they present themselves and their content. Of course, the content matters as well, but it’s not the whole picture.
And if someone is selling me a polished picture, I don’t go for it. Why? Because I don’t want to strain myself with potential pressure and stress over something that doesn’t exist, over something that isn’t attainable or sustainable. Almost as in the pretty pink Barbie world, the whole web is talking about right now.
Why is there a shortage of authenticity?
What do you think, is the lack of authenticity one of the biggest issues in social media today? Maybe it is? But why does that lack? People are not comfortable failing in front of others, let alone in front of anyone who has Instagram. And who would blame us for that? Failing or being miserable is not necessarily something one would want to publicly speak about.
Why do we feel comfortable sharing wins and accomplishments - happy moments then? 🤔
I believe that it is because of the reactions of others. When we are at our lowest, we are easy targets, we are vulnerable. And that’s when predators know to strike. As we live in the world of wolves, there are plenty of people who take joy from other people’s misery, and use it against them. Just writing this makes me feel very sad because, with everything else that is wrong in the world, we would need to support and love each other instead of putting anyone else down.
One person’s happiness is not away from you. One person’s accomplishments don’t make you more of a failure, and someone else upping their game doesn’t lower your value. Happiness is energy like everything else, and there is an unlimited amount of it cycling in the universe. You just need to grab it.
Tips on how to contribute to a more authentic society
I thought I’d share a few of my own tips on how you can impact the authenticity of social media, and thus contribute to a more stress- and pressure-free future.
Treat others like you wish yourself to be treated. Not only on social media but in general. If you’re deeply unhappy, don’t take it out on everyone else putting them down as well.
Be considerate and empathetic when others share authentic content. And what’s even more: show support, show understanding, and show appreciation for their courage in sharing it. No one who authentically shares deep aspects of their lives doesn’t do that for attention - but for support, sympathy, and maybe even to help others who may be feeling the same way.
Don’t speak ill about someone’s shortcomings. Taking joy from other people’s misery is a disgusting personality trait, and you know it too. No one is perfect, but everyone can develop and grow out of bad patterns.
Stop over-analyzing, over-refining, and filtering all of your content. This is a tit-for-a-tat world. Don’t expect others to be authentic if you don’t expect it from yourself either. Be ugly sometimes. Be raw and real. People dig that.
Understand and remember that not everything you see is real, or even remotely truthful. Don’t feel stressed or pressured over fake content. Most of the time it’s just that: fake, with a lot of chaos going on behind the scenes.
Disclaimer: This post was written in a rush before my bed time. It was not checked for grammar, it was not checked for punctuation, nor was it honed to sound more exciting, more joyful, or more like something else. This was raw and real.
I used to think being a woman was about being sweet, now I know it’s about being good. I used to think it was about being independent always, now I know it’s about being strong yet loving. That it was about being beautiful, now knowing it’s about believing in yourself.
I used to think being a woman was about fitting into a certain mold, to which I didn’t fit, and thus became a mess. I now know it’s about being whatever you want to be, whatever you dare to dream of and dare to live as.
with love, Stiina
